Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
