I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
