we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
