Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
