just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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