Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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