I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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