i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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