I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
