i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
