Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
tonight lets celebrate not being married
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
