I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
