i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
