But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
