Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
