I hate all girls vehemently.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
