I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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