Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
