uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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