Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
