So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
