you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
