good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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