You can't special order awesome
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
