please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
