THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
