We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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