You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
