New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
