exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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