We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
