weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
