1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
