yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize