We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
