it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
