Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
