you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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