My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
