Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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