I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
