I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
