if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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