What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
