now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
