he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
