we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
