well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
