She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
