ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
